“I belong to a secret order. We all have OCD, so you’d better believe we have order.”

“God ordered the world and all things in it, and I ordered a pizza and all things on it.”

“A brick could be dropped in a toilet to replicate the sound of shitting bricks. But we wouldn’t have to go through all that trouble if you’d just eat the bricks I put on your plate.
”

“Not only did I lie about lying, but I lied about lying about lying. And you’d better believe that’s the truth.”

“I’m so OCD that I sort the sort ofs out from the maybes.”

“I have a secret secret admirer. Not only is her identity a secret—but so is the fact that she admires me.
”

“I wrote a coded love note in my report for work. All the letters you need to read what I wrote are there—you just have to find them and rearrange the order until you’ve arrived at something romantic, and then you’ll have discovered what I wrote.”