“I bought a big brown stuffed animal. You know, for dinner.”

“I just bought a can of brown paint. It’s more expensive than coffee, but I really hit the wall after I chug it.”

“Love is the thing that holds life together. Sort of like rind to a melon, cloth to a stuffed animal, or money to the time spent with a stripper.”

“I just bought some long-lasting deodorant. You know, for the afterlife. Eternity is a long time to have stinky armpits.”

“A zebra is the piano of the animal kingdom. And I am the flute at the nudist colony, if you know what I mean.”

“Do you mind if I use your bathroom? I haven’t made dinner yet.”

“I keep odd hours. I keep them stuffed under my mattress.”