“I bought an empty safe, and I keep it empty, because safety doesn’t exist, so my safes are full of their potential.”

“It doesn’t matter how I arrive at my conclusions, so long as I reach my destination safe and sound. Especially sound.”

“I collect the most valuable thing in the world—free time. But unlike other priceless things, I don’t need a safe to keep it safe, because I keep all my free time in the past, where nobody can touch it—not even me. My collection grows larger every day.”

“You could empty the trash and my love for you still wouldn’t fit inside. But just because it won’t fit, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t empty the trash.”

“The canvas isn’t empty. It’s full of whatever you imagine it to be full of. My art is so conceptual that not only do I not tell, but I don’t even show. All I do is sign the canvas and try to sell it.”

“My gas tank is on empty, but my erection is on full. Still, it would be wise to stop the car before I pump.”

“In exchange for my silence, I want a box of quiet. Empty—and full.
That’s also how I like my morning coffee at night.”