“I bought an oxygen tank, because with the global population at over seven billion people and rising, what if the world were to suddenly run out of air? And while the people will be suffocating, I’ll be the only guy prepared to pillage and loot.
”

“Leave your village, and conquer yourself before you conquer the world. That’s what I did—I left my village. And once I master myself, I’m coming to a village near you to loot and pillage.”

“I’m the kind of guy who turns my fan on in winter, only to then go and add another blanket on top of my bed. I practice inefficiency even while I sleep, so I’ll be prepared to one day be a politician.”

“I bought a house in a depressed neighborhood. The prices weren’t low, but the people were all bummed out.”

“Question for your life: If we were to kiss passionately for 30 minutes, would you refill my oxygen tank in the process?”

“Love is the color of red inverted. At least that’s what Gunnar Greenlove told me, and I believe him because he’s from an island where half the people tell only the truth and half tell only lies. Not only that, but the island has a population of two, and I am the other inhabitant.”

“The best salespeople are not salespeople, they’re people who’ve not only bought the product, but also bought into the idea of the company and the brand.”