“I buy black clothes, so I can hide behind my shadow.”

“My erection at noon causes an elongated shadow so black you’d think I was an albino.”

“Black clothing makes me look skinnier. If I wear all black at night, and turn out the lights, I look so skinny that I disappear.”

“I get the impression that people who wear too much cologne are hiding something. People who wear clothes are hiding something too.”

“I’m working hard to edit my book, so I can get it up for sale so that nobody can rush out and buy it. Hurry and purchase! You don’t want to be the first one to not be the first one.”

“I’m hiding in plain sight. I’m right behind my clone.”

“I have an iron deficiency. You can tell by how wrinkled my clothes are.”