“I called the cops to see if I had a rap sheet. I do, and it rhymes.”

“I saw the corpse, and I called the cops. But not before I called a 1-800 phone sex number with the dead guy’s phone and credit card.”

“I am a single drop of blood trying to mix in with billions of red paint splatters in this Pollack painting called life. I think the cops are trying to frame me.”

“The cop wanted to know what was in the bag. I said, Another cop.”

“Just because you don’t have an arrest record doesn’t mean you’re not a criminal. As proof, note some of the cleanest rap sheets in America belong to politicians.”

“If love had two wings and rhymed with “mutter-lie,” could I be your caterpillar? All I’m asking for is a little time to mature.”

“Don’t bother calling the cops, because nobody can find me here. I know, because after all these years, I’m still trying to find myself.”