“I can be a better friend, lover, and humanitarian, but I can’t be a better eggroll. Sadly, I’m as good of an eggroll as I’ll ever be.”

“I’m not good at talking. Can’t I just nod my way through a conversation? It’s better than nodding off.”

“Right now is the youngest I’ll ever be, so I suppose I’d better act immature while I still can.”

“I have friends. I want more from you than that. I’m a selfish guy, Jane. If I can’t be your lover, if I can’t have all of you, then I don’t want anything.”

“You better think real carefully before you say anything, cateyes, because if you give me your love, I’m not going to let you take it back. I can’t keep worrying about whether or not I can make you happy. I’ll try my best but there isn’t going to be any changing your mind later. Do you understand what I’m saying? If you’re going to be my woman, there’s no way in hell I’ll ever let you go.”

“I’m feeling a little under the weather. But once I open my umbrella, I’m sure I’ll begin to feel better.”