“I can fly a plane, but I can’t fly a planet. Not without a seatbelt the size of the equator. The way I eat @McDonalds, I may need a seatbelt that fat.”

“I want to be the world’s safest fashion designer. And I always wear my seatbelt, especially when I’m in the car.”

“I can’t fly with one wing. But I can’t go hungry either, and I already ate both the legs, the breasts, and the other wing.”

“A plan won’t fly without dedication, perseverance, or wings. A plane won’t fly without those things either, though of those three things, wings are the most unnecessary.”

“Love is a green sky on a blue pasture, and I am the flying cow eating it all up.”

“I’m a patriotic pilot. I know how to fly a flag. Of course I don’t fly anything anymore, not after my boating accident.”

“Pepperoni looks so much like nipples that I can’t eat pizza without getting horny.”