“I can kick the can down the road, and I can also kick other modal verbs.”

“Karate, I get a real kick out of it. I would get a kick out of coffee, but I’ve got better ways of stirring, like renting Michael Phelps’ 400 IM time.”

“Love is a winding mountainous road. Do you have an extra unicycle and handlebar mustache I can borrow?”

“I had a dream I took the form of Chuck Norris and kicked your ass. Then I impregnated you from across the room.”

“You can build with brick, and you can also destroy with a brick.
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“I can provide a witness who didn’t see me at the scene of the crime. That witness can also prove they didn’t see me anywhere else either, thus showing that I didn’t exist at that moment in time.”

“I stood under the umbrella for hours before I folded it up and started walking. Umbrellas can block the sun, shield the rain, and if you flip an open one over, it can also be used as a large coffee cup.”