“I can smell a trap. It smells like my ass.”

“There are whiskers in my soup, and my spoon smells like my cat’s ass.”

“My favorite smells are freshly baked bread, the pages of an old book, and they way my boss’ ass smells when he’s shouting at me.”

“I love the smell of cleanliness. That’s what the inside of my nostrils smell like, naturally.”

“I hate the smell of success, because most of the time it smells like sweat. Maybe that’s why I’m poor, because every pore on my body is dry.”

“My nostrils smell, but not to you. Oh, they have no odor, unless you count the scent of nostalgia, which is what they always smell like.”

“If I had nostrils on my index fingers, I wonder what the inside of my nose would smell like?”