“I consider seeing my 30th birthday an accomplishment. You know, not many midgets live to be this tall.”

“Like a midget, I walk tall and proud.”

“My 30th birthday will be arriving in a few months. It’s not arriving unexpectedly, I just wish it would have given me more of an advance notice, say another 30 years.”

“We had a blast at my magical birthday party. There were midgets, fairies, glass slippers, and I actually got to ride in a pumpkin.”

“I’m so tall I make midgets look like dwarves.”

“If I were among midgets I didn’t know, I’d be afraid they’d see I was uncomfortable making small talk.”

“My shadow’s so substantial that it has its own shadow. It isn’t as tall, but that’s OK, because sometimes it feels like I’m being followed by a black midget.”