“I could jump in a small swimming pool or dive in the big ocean, and I’d be equally as wet. So it is with love. Somebody get me a towel.”

“I’d race my motorcycle across the ocean just to avoid swimming in the desert. Ladies, I hope this indicates what kind of lover I’d make.”

“I am the bathtub of desire, but damnit woman, I saw you eyeing that swimming pool.”

“Tanks are so big and expensive they should be Buy One Get One Free. If they were, I’d buy 60 of them (I’d save up my allowance money).”

“If love were seaweed, I’d ask myself one question: Are you the sort of person who’d swim through it, or would you rather eat it? As for me, pass me my Speedo, and a spoon.”

“My time at the pool went swimmingly. Better than a nude beach, because I was the only one who was naked.”

“I used to spend a lot of time in lap pools. Growing up I was on a few swim teams. In Florida all there is to do is surf, swim, golf, and try to pick up single women at the retirement home.”