“I cried so hard after I put my cat to sleep. I guess I shouldn’t have cried so hard, because with all my sobbing, I ended up waking it up.”

“I remember I laughed so hard I cried. But my response was half appropriate, because I was at a funeral.”

“In my dream I woke up to realize I was tired and needed to go to sleep. Then I slowly remembered that I was asleep, but that I needed to wake up and write this down. Blah.”

“When I told her my love would stop her tears from falling, she started laughing. She laughed so hard she started crying. Damn. Double damn!”

“Somebody needs to pet me, and I guess that somebody is me. My cat is busy sleeping.”

“I had to put away my toy so it didn’t get lost. After all, cats can’t read maps or ask for directions, and they don’t possess GPS.”

“I want to go to sleep in my time machine and wake up eight hours in the future.”