“I didn’t have enough money to tip the waitress, so I offered to take her out on a date, provided she paid for dinner. And picked me up.”

“Finally he said, "Hope, do you want to have dinner with me sometime?"I dropped a plastic bottle of Gulden's.We looked at it on the floor. Neither of us picked it up."I mean, I know we have dinner a lot when we're working. I meant out someplace. Together." Braverman picked up the Gulden's bottle, handed it to me. He coughed. "A date."I said, "What is this, an epidemic?"I backed out the door and left Braverman in the supply closet.I don't get asked out too much either.”

“Look, I realize both of you could happily strangle each other across the table, but I don't think that's the most effective use of our time, and frankly, I don't think I have enough money to tip the waitress for that kind of clean-up. And look, here's lunch. Let's eat that instead of eachother.”

“She reached up and curled her fingers into mine. “He should take you to dinner.” To say that the mere thought horrified me would have been a grievous understatement. I threw up a little in my mouth then swallowed hard.I told Taft when I recovered, “Just please, for the love of God, find a girl good enough to take home to your mother. And do it soon.”“And stop dating skanks.”

“I have a class in Hermosa Beach that starts at eight, but …”I wanted to offer to pick up her car, drive her back to Hermosa Beach, take her to the moon.”

“We made love like a half a minute. I brought the thirty seconds, and she provided the excuse as to why she didn’t have enough time to have sex with me.
”