“I didn’t have enough money to tip the waitress, so I offered to take her out on a date, provided she paid for dinner. And picked me up.”

“I made her late, so she made me dinner. And by late I mean pregnant. And by dinner I mean marry her.”

“And then she walked out of my life forever. Too bad she was hitchhiking. I should have picked her up.”

“She’s the kind of woman where if you give her an inch, she’ll take the whole penis.
 She took all I had, and she didn’t even take me out to coffee.”

“The lights might have dimmed, but I blinked at that moment so I didn’t notice. I also didn’t notice her love, probably because she never showed or told me.”

“I fell in love, but she wasn’t there to pick me up. So I took a taxi.”

“Somebody dialed the wrong number trying to reach me, but I didn’t pick up because I didn’t recognize the number, or the legitimacy of the situation.”