“I didn’t set out to discover Truth. I was simply hungry and digging deep in the back of the fridge and boom! there it was. And I’ve got to tell you, the Truth was tasty. 
”

“I need to go to the grocery store because I’ve got nothing in my fridge but an old t-shirt, a pair of jeans, and a sweater (after all, it does get cold in the fridge).”

“I keep my love in the fridge, next to my meat, because you simply can’t beat it.”

“-Do you see that?
-Yeah, what is it?
-That’s the truth.
-How can you tell it’s the truth?
-Because it’s ugly.”

“Where was I last night? I don’t remember myself. I mean I remember me—I didn’t suffer from an out-of-body experience—but I myself don’t remember. I remember being there, but not where there was, or being a being—I just was—I was simply existing and I wasn’t focusing on is or how or why, and certainly not where or when. I hope this clarifies the issue for you. I think I’ve been more than helpful.”

“I’ll never go hungry, because I’m a pet owner and a meat eater. I used to own broccoli, but taking it for a walk in the park didn’t work out so well. 
”

“I collect collectivisms. I’ve already got socialism and communism, and all I need is fascism to complete the set. I’m looking to trade my dusty democracy, but Uncle Sam isn’t interested in a deal at this time. 
”