“I didn’t shave my mustache off. Instead what I did was taped Elton John’s asshole to my top lip and then all of the sudden I had twice the dick in my mouth as before. It was almost more than I could swallow. Almost. 
”

“I opened my mouth, almost said something. Almost. The rest of my life might have turned out differently if I had. But I didn’t.”

“For a moment a phrase tried to take shape in my mouth and my lips parted like a dumb man’s, as though there was more struggling upon them than a wisp of startled air. But they made no sound, and what I had almost remembered was uncommunicable forever”

“At my bachelor party I had Elton John’s “Tiny Dancer” play on repeat, while I enjoyed the spectacle of a midget stripper dressed like jet fuel (Rocket Man).”

“My face doesn’t match my personality. Maybe it would if instead of a mouth I had an asshole in its place.
”

“Every time I jerked off over the past few days, I thought about you. Forget the chicks—I’m going with the dicks. Well,” he made a face, “one dick, I mean. My own private dick. Start off slow, you know, and then build up to the orgies.”Rhodes brought his lips down onto Wash’s smiling mouth. “My dick,” Rhodes growled against the curve of Wash’s lips. “And my dick only. Remember that.”