“I don’t beat around the bush. Especially since I like my women clean shaven.”

“I feel like my old self. Especially since I feel like I’m developing dementia.”

“I don’t like Mondays, especially if they occur on Fridays.”

“I like my spaghetti like I like my women. All over my shirt.”

“My clone will have my mind, but I don’t mind. Two heads are better than one—especially when those two are one and the same.”

“Birthdays are like politicians. I don’t like any of them, but they still keep coming around.”

“Nipples—men have them, but don’t need them. Men—women have them, but don’t need them. Women—I don’t have them, but I need them. All of them.”