“I don’t have any upper body strength, but that matches up perfectly with my lack of lower body strength.”

“I would visit Hawaii, but I’m not that strong of a swimmer. My strength is all in my heart, and I love like Arnold Schwarzenegger’s body looks.”

“I enjoy scratching itches on my body with my beard stubble. The worst though is when my lower back itches.”

“I covered up my mistakes—with dirt, like you’d do with any other dead bodies.”

“I didn’t have time to bury the money. All my precious time was taken up burying the body. I should have left the body and hid the cash. Damn! Now I’ve got no body, but no money, and nobody to blame but myself.”

“You don’t have to be Sherlock Holmes to read the body language that people’s homes present.”

“I had an out-of-body experience so strange that it felt normal. You see, my soul, or essence, had left my body and went and inhabited the body of my clone. So I wasn’t in my body, and yet I was. Or maybe none of that happened, and I was just in a delirious, sleep-deprived state.”