“I don’t like boxing. I prefer bagging.”

“I don’t like salad dressing. I prefer salad undressing. I’m a health freak. And I do mean freak.”

“I don’t know what’s in the box, but I love it. Unopened gifts contain hope.
”

“I don’t like the term “Average Joe.” I prefer “Dolly,” because not only is the Everyman a sheep, but he’s also a clone. They all think alike and act alike.”

“How many supermodels can you fit in a toothpick canister? I don’t know, but I prefer floss.”

“I bought a bag of chips at the store, and the cashier asked if I wanted a bag. I said, No thanks. It already comes with a bag.”

“To some dogs I don’t like cats, to some cats I don’t like dogs, and to some people I don’t like. Mostly the people I don’t like are lawyers, lobbyists, and politicians.”