“I don’t like rejection. One jection is enough for me. No need to give it to me again.”

“Getting a rejection letter from a place you’ve been thinking about is bad enough, but how shitty do I feel getting a rejection letter from some place I don’t even remember applying to? That’s like a homeless person walking up to me and saying, “You don’t know me, but in case you’ve forgotten, you’re a loser.”

“If you supplied me a tissue, I wouldn’t need it because I wouldn’t feel like crying. But if you withhold it, you’ll make me sad and you’ll make me cry, thus causing me to need the very thing you won’t give me. So if you give it to me, I won’t need it, and if you don’t give it to me, your actions end up causing me to need it.”

“Don’t show me how I messed up, because I don’t need to be shown. Clearly if I’ve messed up once, I can do it again without any coaching from you.”

“I don’t understand why you don’t trust me. It’s not like you have a reason to not trust me. So, lend me some money, and let me give you the reason you were looking for to not trust me. Wouldn’t you rather be proved right than not lose money?”

“I don’t dress like I have any money. And I don’t have any money, which helps enable me to dress like that.”

“I like the way I look, but I don’t like the way my mirror presents me. It’s biased.”