“I don’t like to celebrate my birthday, because I don’t like taking credit for others’ work—in this case, my mom and dad. Or possibly my mom and the mailman.
”

“Some people say I look like my mom, while others say I look more like my dad. I guess it all depends on what I’m wearing.”

“The event happened on my birthday. I don’t remember the date, I only know it was my birthday because there was no cake or presents.”

“I don’t understand people who don’t like meatloaf. Your mom doesn’t make it like Michael Aday does.”

“When I think about my clone, random songs pop into my head. Songs like, “Happy Birthday.” Will he celebrate the same birthday as me? He’d better, because without me, there’d be nothing for him to celebrate.”

“I celebrate my birthday in ways not seen this side of the Old Testament. I celebrate my life like the Dead Sea, and my party is a BYOP (bring your own plague) event.”

“My mom and dad died, but in their place I got a house of fog that’s easy to hide my feelings in. (No smoking, please.)
”