“I don’t punch walls, because walls don’t punch back. I also don’t punch things that can and do punch back.
”

“I didn’t get sucker punched. It was more of a lollipop.”

“Nothing says I forgive you like a punch in the face.”

“I punched him 14 times in the face, and he didn’t even try to hit me back. He wasn’t a pacifist, but he was already as dead as a slab of meat.”

“I went to a football game once and got punched in the face, but you couldn’t tell because I was already sitting in the nosebleed section.”

“When I didn’t know him I punched him in the face. The best part about him is his nose.”

“A wink and a smirk walk into a bar, and the bartender asked them what they were drinking, when all of the sudden a mustache in a cowboy hat riding a vagina runs through the door, and right there I have to stop the joke, because not only does it not have a punch line, but that punch line was kidnapped, and if it’s ever found, it will probably be rated Not Safe For Work. 
”