“I don’t use coarse humor, but occasionally I’ll joke about intercourse—between midget siblings.”

“The book “Little Women,” what, is that about midgets? I freaking love midgets.”

“But a system made secure by the protective plating of humor and pretense always runs the risk of having its protection get out of hand. A relationship based on jokes invites jokes; jokes about anything -- and jokes about anything are now and then bound to cut too close to the truth.”

“After a while, marriage is a sibling relationship--marked by occasional, and rather regrettable, episodes of incest.”

“Sometimes I write about the forest, sometimes I write about the trees, and occasionally I’ll write about the lumberjack. Actually, the lumberjack is more the editing part, figuring what needs to be cut.”

“Love between man and woman is impossible because there must not be sexual intercourse, and friendship between man and woman is impossible because there must be sexual intercourse.”