“I drink hot coffee in the summer, and iced coffee in the winter. I’m a contrarian, and contrary to popular belief I'm not a sellout. I rent.”
“I talk better when I’m drinking coffee.” “Me, too. If by coffee you mean beer, and by better you mean louder.”
“People assume because I'm a coffee expert I drink lots of coffee. I can't. It takes me half an hour to brew my perfect cup. Do the math. I simply don't have time to drink more.”
“I laughed so hard I nearly spit out my hot tea. The strange part was the fact that I was drinking coffee at that moment.”
“Oh I can't stop drinking the coffee, I stop drinking the coffee and I stop doing the standing and the walking and the words-putting-into-sentence-doing.”
“I mean, contrary to popular belief, I'm actually not harboring a secret desire to grow up and become a bioterrorist.”