“I drive a car that’s covered in fur, because before the automobile, there was the horse.”

“The best way to sell a car is to first try to sell them an airplane, then a horse, and then finally bring up the newest model automobile you have for sale.”

“The car was only partway submerged; David must have regained control enough to brake before driving all the way into the water. But from Charlie's vantage point it looked like the lake stopped the car, as if the water wasn't water but an impermeable barrier the luxury automobile didn't have the strength to shatter.”

“On My First Driving Lesson “First things first: A car has five gears. What is that smell?…Okay, first thing before that first thing: Farting in a car that’s not moving makes you an asshole.”

“In the days before automobiles, people in horse-drawn wagons used to sleep if they were tired. They didn't worry about getting lost, because the horse knew the way home. Your heart knows the way to your gifts. You can trust it to take you to them.”

“Before I sold used cars, I sold used horses. Mostly to glue factories.”