“I drove 30 miles to buy some breath mints before I realized I had some already in my pocket. Then it took me another 30 minutes to figure out they weren’t breath mints at all—they were aspirins.”

“Question for your life: If we were to kiss passionately for 30 minutes, would you refill my oxygen tank in the process?”

“There may be a sucker born every minute, but every 30 seconds a lollipop pops out.”

“My 30th birthday will be arriving in a few months. It’s not arriving unexpectedly, I just wish it would have given me more of an advance notice, say another 30 years.”

“In the morning I brush my teeth with hope, and at night before bed I brush them with defeat. Both are mint flavored, so I try not to get them mixed up.
”

“I talked to a calzone for fifteen minutes last night before I realized it was just an introverted pizza. I wish all my acquaintances were so tasty.”

“Ninety minutes of pure naughty (limit 30 minutes per customer). *No clones or triplets allowed!”