“I eat overcast skies for breakfast, because sunlight isn’t filling enough. As a lover, I’m a bring-my-own-umbrella kind of guy, because a soup bowl doesn’t offer enough space or protection.”

“Everything I learned in school, mixed together with water and chicken broth, isn’t worth the soup served at a soup kitchen. I was a bring-my-own-spoon kind of student.”

“I ate a rainbow in a bowl, because it’s better than eating rain soup. Food and water aren’t supposed to be one and the same.
”

“Is there anything more pathetic than a flower that doesn’t get enough sunlight and dies, because it couldn’t get out of bed until four in the afternoon?”

“Are you an Is there? or a There isn’t! kind of person? I’m more of an Is there isn’t? kind of guy.”

“Three Guys and a Goat is not a good name for a bed and breakfast. I know, because my two partners overruled my name suggestion.”

“I eat bar soap raw, because if you try cooking it, it disappears. The soap turns into soup.”