“I explore my subconscious the way Cousteau explored the sea: with a scuba tank and a smile.”

“If I knew everything, life would be lonely, as everyone else would want to explore the world, and I’d be content with a cat on my lap sitting in the dark. 
”

“I traded in my car with no gas in the tank and my new car came with a full tank. So I at least profited there. That makes me appreciate my depreciation more.”

“Sometimes I put on a black scuba suit and go walking on the beach, to relax. If I could, I’d sleep in a scuba suit—on a waterbed. Not that I actually ever get in the ocean. Too many dangerous things in the water, like barracudas, sharks, and of course there are many lawyers here on the east coast.”

“Love is like Atlantis, OK? And I’m just a humble scuba diver searching for treasure that I can exchange for sexual favors.”

“My gas tank is on empty, but my erection is on full. Still, it would be wise to stop the car before I pump.”

“Will I be subtly influenced by what my clone says, or by my own subconscious? Will my thoughts really be mine, or will they be mine—the other me?”