“I feel like someone who has a parade named in their honor, and doesn’t get invited.”

“I didn’t want to go, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t want to be invited.”

“A man with six fingers on one hand who gets his finger cutoff by the mafia probably doesn’t feel pain, fear, or anger. No, that man probably feels normal.”

“It doesn’t matter if I don’t have a suit, you should still invite me swimming. That’s the naked truth.”

“I like great music, but who doesn’t? Oh yeah, deaf people.”

“When I feel sad, I try to think of someone else in the world who is suffering worse than me. Like someone in Seattle, who is hurting so bad financially that instead of a vente coffee at Starbucks every morning, they have to downsize to grande.”

“I like the name Lola, because it has LOL in the beginning.”