“I gathered my courage like nuts and berries, I cautiously approached her, I waited for her to turn her head, and then I sprinkled them in her yogurt. Sometimes you just have to take a chance. Ah, but that’s life, no?”

“I eat spaghetti with my fingers, because it reminds me of me running my fingers through her wet red hair. Ah, but that’s life, no?”

“I asked if I could draw on her face, because not only was her head globe-shaped, but her nose was shaped like Italy. My love knows no boundaries.”

“Her name was Rebecca. Or at least that’s what her nametag said. She was making my coffee at Starbucks as I admired how her green Starbucks apron matched her bright green eyes. She had hair the color of coffee with a hint of cream in it. I was trying to act casual and not make it seem like I came in here only to see her. The truth is, I hate coffee. That’s not entirely true. I do like a hint of coffee in my cup of sugar.”

“I thought I was placing my hand on her knee. But it turned out to be her saggy boob.”

“I heard a song I hate and I thought of her. Ah, such is love.”

“The only thing I have left to remember her by is the scent of her perfume. I just broke into her car and stole the bottle.”