“I had to sell my cigarette boat, for fear it would cause cancer.”

“If I had but two loaves of bread, I would sell one and buy hyacinths, for they would feed my soul.”

“I fear that I am losing my mind. But really, it would not be such a precious thing to lose, as it only causes me pain.”

“What most people find festive—a weekend at a beach shack with friends, a boat trip down a river, a crackling bonfire on a summer night—I see as a bleak nightmare to be grimly endured. I would sooner put lit cigarettes in my eyes than share a vacation house with a crowd.”

“Thing about boats is, you can always sell them if you don't like them. Can't sell kids.”

“Why, you may ask, didn't we have a cow tonight? No one would sell Bayard one. He had the brilliant idea of telling the farmers why he wanted the cow. The God-fearing folk would sell their cows to be eaten, but not for raising zombies. Prejudiced bastards.”