“I hate it when I go shopping and leave my wallet at home, in my pants, along with my underwear.”

“This world is nothing more than fresh white underwear, and I’m going to leave my mark on it.”

“I like to hike in state parks, but one thing I can’t stand is pants. So I don’t wear any. My wallet is tube shaped. Can you guess where I keep it?”

“My wallet was empty after the charity auction. Of course, my wallet was empty before the auction too. I donated my time and money to strippers.”

“My sheep pants don’t make me one of them. However, 37 Brantleys made an appeal on my behalf, but I still have to take off my pants.”

“I never understood the term “Ass hat.” Not until I misplaced my Fedora, and decided to cover up my disheveled hair with underwear.”

“When I was a kid, I’d leave my door cracked with a piece of lint on top, and if I came home and the lint was on the floor, I’d know there’d been an intruder in my room. Of course, I shared a room with the washer and dryer, so this led to many false accusations.”