“I have a beard of grass. I grew it on my back, and sometimes my neighbor mows it for me. Meow!”

“This is what I love to do: I love to run through a field of wet grass that has not been mowed recently, I love to run, keeping my snout low to the ground so the grass and the sparkles of water cover my face. I imagine myself as a vacuum cleaner, sucking in all the smells. all the life, a spear of summer grass. It reminds me of my childhood, back on the farm in Spangle, where there was no rain but there was grass, there were fields, and I ran. ~ p208”

“Thump“Oh, God”Thump ThumpUnbelievable…I woke up faster this time, because I knew what I was hearing I sat up in bed, glaring behind me. The bed was still pulled safely away from the wall, so I felt no movement. But there sure as hell something moving over there.Then I heard ……hissing?I looked down at Clive, whose tail was at full puff. He arched his back and paced back and forth at the foot of the bed.“Hey, mister. It’s cool. We just got a noisy neighbor, that’s all,” I soothed, stretching my hand out to him. That’s when I heard it. “Meow” I cocked my head sideways, listening more intently. I studied Clive, who looked back at me as if to say “T’weren’t me”.“Meow! Oh, God. Me -Yow!”The girl next door was meowing. What in the world was my neighbor packing to make that happen?Clive, at this point, went utterly bonkers and launched himself at the wall. He was literally climbing it, trying to get where the noise was coming from, and adding his own meows to the chorus.“Oooh yes, just like that, Simon…Mmmm….Meow, meow, Meow!”Sweet Lord, there were out-of-control pussies on both sides of this wall tonight.”

“The girl next door was meowing. What in the world was my neighbor packing to make that happen?”

“If beards flowed like rivers, then I’d stop shaving my facial St. John’s, and I’d have one of the few major beards in the world that grew north.”

“Meow, meow, meow. Meow meow. Meoow,” Boo told me, obviously having a full day and feeling I needed to be kept apprised of every second of it.”