“I have a deep respect for shallow pockets. They keep politicians honest.
”

“Business idea: Merge a billiard table with a golf course, and make the pockets as deep as a typical politician's pants.”

“Bricks could be used to pad the pockets of crooked politicians. Why stuff their greedy pockets with cash, when we could load them up with bricks and find out how good of swimmers they are?
”

“Can America get back to a point where politicians are honest? Not unless that point is the tip of a sword.”

“I wouldn’t mind politicians lying to me, stealing from me, or senselessly making life difficult if they didn’t try to claim they were looking out for my best interest. How refreshing it’d be to see a politician honest enough to admit he’s dishonest.”

“Birthdays are like politicians. I don’t like any of them, but they still keep coming around.”

“If I have to beat you up to keep you safe, that’s just what I’ll do. It’s this kind of regard for others that makes me believe I’d be a good politician.”