“I have a star on Hollywood Blvd. It glows in the dark and I stuck it there myself.”

“Here in Jacksonville there’s a road called Commonwealth Blvd., and today as I was driving on it, I realized how socialist the name sounds.”

“If I had a necklace made out of tiny suns, I’d only wear it at night when you could really see it. Sadly, I don’t have a necklace like that. The closest thing I have is a necklace made out of those glow in the dark stars you stick to bedroom ceilings. But I only wear that on special occasions, like bedtime. 
”

“If I own a business, I work for myself. And if I have no revenue, I work for free. That’s not slavery. That’ll be the case when I employ 1,000,000,000 clones of myself. I won’t pay them, but they are me, so it’s not slavery.”

“I have pride in my name, because I have pride in myself. I do not represent my name—my name represents me.”

“The picture is bad because the photographer was poor. I took the picture myself, and you can clearly tell I have no money.”

“I put tin foil on our relationship and stuck it in the fridge, because it needed to cool down a bit.”