“I have a whisper like a zipper. Your secret is safe in my pants.”

“I carry your love like a backpack. I only wish your love had a larger cargo capacity, and had zippers instead of Velcro.”

“And out came an insult with the velocity of a whisper. But I could see I offended, so I zipped up my pants and left the wedding reception.”

“I want to create a cologne that smells like a whisper. It’ll be for all the secret admirers out there.”

“The zipper on my crotch is an air vent. I need some way to cool down my hot coffee.”

“If there are two witnesses to a murder, you and the guy you killed, I’d say your secret is safe. I won’t say nothing to nobody.”

“My sheep pants don’t make me one of them. However, 37 Brantleys made an appeal on my behalf, but I still have to take off my pants.”