“I have as much style as a turnstile. Thrust your hips into me.”

“Inviting the invading army over for dinner, buffet style, is a bad idea. Especially when I just took a bath in the last of your mac and cheese.”

“I think I have a strange thing growing out of my neck that causes me to think too much.”

“You could say I lost my cool when I got heckled, but I wasn’t cool to begin with. Man, those nursing home knitters are quite the formidable social group when you’re not hip—or if you haven’t had a hip replacement.”

“It’s been said that you make as much money as the average income of your five closest friends. Well, I have no friends, so it’s no surprise that I have no money either.”

“I saw a mummy in a movie once, and I’ve got to say I love George Harrison’s style.”

“I didn’t chug the hairspray because I’m an alcoholic. I drank it to style my throat hairs.”