“I have aspirations of becoming the first man to put on a chicken suit, cross the road, and then explain my motives for doing so. I guess you could say that right now I am an egg, and my dream is an omelet; I see myself in my dream, yet it is greater and more colorful than even I am.”

“I remember one time some guy put caviar in my omelet, and I had to complain saying, “Excuse me, you idiot, but there are eggs in my omelet.” He didn’t know how to respond, probably because he felt so foolish.
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“I gathered all my eggs in one basket, because I believe in collectivism, and I wanted a tyrannical omelet.”

“The man who pulled my winning raffle ticket out of the hat said I was one lucky guy. I guess he didn’t see me standing next to my clone, so I replied, “I am two lucky guys.”

“When I write I am an avocado, and in a team sport setting, I am guacamole. And not to sour cream on your dreams, but with my love life, I am a nacho.”

“Do I look like someone you know? Well you don’t know me, so why don’t you go bother my clone? And if you do see my clone, tell him I should have made an omelet out of him when I had the chance.”

“I am Cloud “Combat” McCloud. Fear my thunder! Love my chicken tenders.”