“I have nothing, so I think having something would mean everything to me. But I don’t want to get to the point where I have everything, so having something would mean nothing to me.”

“According to me I have hypochondria. So if I say I suffer from a condition where a person thinks they suffer from everything, it’s a giant loop! Nobody can say I don’t suffer from it because just by saying I suffer from it I am showing the symptoms of suffering from it.”

“As far as how my mom might view me, I can imagine her saying something like this to me: “You may be ugly, son, but that doesn’t mean you can’t be rich. In fact, it kind of means you have to be rich. At least if you don’t want to be asexual and alone your whole life.”

“Women won’t sleep with me for the same reason that I don’t pay for sex—I don’t have any money. And if I did have money, I wouldn’t pay for sex, because women would sleep with me for free.”

“A kiss involves two people, so I not only have to think about me for me, I have to think about me for her, her for her, and her for me.”

“A brick could be used to remind me of her. I mean everything else reminds me of her, so why not a brick too?
”

“I am going to think of you every time I don't have sex. So that'll mean I'll always be thinking of you.”