“I have so many pet peeves that I can’t even pet them all. And damn I wish they were furry.”

“I like to pet trees—especially if they have furry leaves.”

“My cat stood still like a furry statue. I wanted to go pet it, but I ended up petting a painting instead. Ah, but that’s life, no?”

“I wish there were a vending machine that served cats. Not to eat, but to pet during my work break.”

“Apricots are like cute furry pets you can eat—legally.”

“A being of light for a pet wouldn’t be furry, but it would keep you warm—and awake at night.”

“Love reminds me of when I was six and had a pet goldfish named “Silverbird” that I carried around the house, petting it like a cat. Needless to say it died. So I ate it.”