“I have two problems with hard labor: hard and labor. I prefer soft, and I’d prefer not giving birth.”

“Employment: I’ll trade my time and labor for your money. So time is not money, because money is time plus labor. I spend my time saving money, I spend my money saving time, and I labor hard to not labor hard.”

“With intellectual labor your hard work is forever, while with manual labor your hard work is temporary and soon forgotten.”

“I want to have a bunch of kids so I can open a factory and have free labor. Beat that, China!”

“If I told you I’ve worked hard to get where I’m at, I’d be lying, because I have no idea where I am right now.”

“She had two lips like strawberries, and the seeds gave her kisses texture. I preferred kissing her over two scoops of vanilla ice cream.”

“I don’t like boxing. I prefer bagging.”