“I haven’t been feeling like myself lately. No, I’ve been feeling like my clone.”

“I’ve only been with my girlfriend for three days, but it feels like a lifetime—the lifetime of a gnat.”

“I’ve lost many things, and many people, but thankfully I haven’t lost my life, or any of my clones.”

“I feel like I could be the best, but I’m not going to openly admit that. At least not to any of my clones.”

“I collect orgasms. Unfortunately, lately I’ve been selling more than I’ve been buying.”

“I am an uncle, though this is not a new feeling for me, as I’ve been one before. I’ve also been 2 through 32, and I turn 33 in March.”

“If I had a clone, he’d better be my equal, and not my better. Can you imagine how I’d feel being jealous of myself?”