“I hired a counterfeiter the other day. I told him, “As for your salary, how much you make is really up to you.” I love a business model where the employee pays the employer.”

“I can’t tell you how much I love kissing ass. Especially wealthy, cellulose-stippled ass. But I’ll smile as big as a personified yellow circle and assure the hiring manager that I was born to serve. I’ll tell him that while other kids wanted to be cops or firemen when they grew up, I wanted to be Florence Nightingale.”

“Factor in the fact that factories should only hire people they make themselves, I believe, and you can see why I want to be self-employed and own a factory. This would mean I’d have thousands of clones of myself working for me. Think about it. I’ll increase my income thousands of times over, but I’ll only be paying tax for one person. 
”

“As much as I want to make love to you, I’d rather make love to your clone.”

“If I own a business, I work for myself. And if I have no revenue, I work for free. That’s not slavery. That’ll be the case when I employ 1,000,000,000 clones of myself. I won’t pay them, but they are me, so it’s not slavery.”

“If you put a long-haired wig on and ask nicely, I might sit on your back and ride you like a horse. I believe that’s the only appropriate way to show you how much I love you.”

“Rain, it always reminds me of water. And you know how much I love things that remind me of other things. Say, that reminds me...”