“I hung a large pizza over my window, because it was more delicious than curtains.”

“My wife loves window shopping. As for me, I’m more into curtains.”

“In high school they called me “Pizza Face.” Not because I had bad acne, though I did, but because I always wore pepperoni and mushrooms on my face.”

“I would answer the door for the pizza delivery guy wearing my birthday suit, but it had cake all over it so I sent it to be dry cleaned.”

“I wish success could be ordered like delivery pizza, because I’d order take out.”

“I had to close the door on our friendship, because he kept climbing in through my window.”

“I run my household like a marathon. That’s 26.2 miles of me taking orders from my significant other, who has significantly more control over the relationship than I do.”