“I just took a little nap. I stole it from an infant.”

“A brick can be neither good nor bad. A brick just is. And it isn’t, because I just stole it from you, which is good for me, and bad for you.
”

“Cap’n just jumped on the bed and says we should take a nap. And who am I to argue?”

“The other day I found 20 dollars. It was just lying in a wallet I took from some guy’s pocket.”

“The only thing I have left to remember her by is the scent of her perfume. I just broke into her car and stole the bottle.”

“I only need to write about 3,000 one-liners a day to produce a million jokes a year. Simple. I’ll just get started after I take a nap.”

“I need either a small coffee or a large nap.”