“I killed him, but that doesn’t mean I enjoyed every second of every month of the torture process.”

“There may be a sucker born every minute, but every 30 seconds a lollipop pops out.”

“I didn’t want to go, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t want to be invited.”

“I am going to think of you every time I don't have sex. So that'll mean I'll always be thinking of you.”

“I like to meet people and pretend I’ll never see them again. I tend to value things more if I think it’s the last time I’ll get to enjoy it. I’ll savor every moment I believe to be the last.”

“I couldn’t agree more. That doesn’t mean I agree. In fact, I completely disagree. And since I so thoroughly disagree, I couldn’t agree more.”

“I would rather make love than war, but only because condoms kill millions of lives more enjoyably.”