“I knew it, but I knew you didn’t know I knew it, so I knew to not let you know I knew it by acting like I didn’t know it.”

“She had a picture of a llama, so under it I wrote, “I didn’t know you knew my brother.”

“If I knew what you’d do, exactly when you knew what you’d do, then I’d either be you or I’d be God. And we both know I’m not you.”

“I wrote a zen koan once about love, but it didn’t make any sense. That’s how I knew I had accurately described love.”

“I had some Mexican for dinner. Who knew cannibalism could be so tasty?”

“I feel like I’m late for love. I’ll be 30 in March. Damn it! I knew I should have set my alarm clock.”

“Do you need some birthday dick? I once got dick for my birthday—my first birthday, in fact. That’s how they knew I was a boy.”