“I know great art when someone doesn’t wash their hands after making it. And not only did Duchamp not wash his hands, but he didn’t even flush!”

“After I go to the bathroom, I leave my hands wet as proof I washed them.”

“Without even washing my hands I can tell whether I peed or not.”

“A brick could be used to wash your hands. And after that, I’d suggest you wash out your filthy mouth. Scrub it clean, you scatological talker you.
”

“Giving up giving up—it’s good for your health. Make love like you just stole it. And remember, always wash your hands after you after.”

“Even a fool recognizes that there is great sadness in a bucket of tears. But only a wise man thinks to conserve water and use that bucket to wash his car.”

“I always wear gloves when I wash my hands. That’s also how I make love, and if you buy now I’ll throw in an extra bar of soap for FREE.”