“I laced up my sneakers, but not with the intention to sneak around. I was just going to skulk for a bit, when out of the blue I discovered my green thumb and ended up doing a bit of gardening. I really had no idea I was such a badass until that moment.”

“I plugged the hole up with my thumb, so at least I wouldn’t sink. But it was really uncomfortable floating on that lake with my thumb up my ass.”

“The birds bark my name, and I meow theirs in return. I may be a bit mixed up about life, but not about love. Or maybe I mixed that up.”

“I was once in a battle trying to fight my way out when I realized it’s better to sneak out.”

“People used to tell me that when I smile I really warm up the room. Well, the moment someone told me about global warming I frowned, and in that exact moment it started to snow. So, if you see me walking around with a furrow on my brow, you’ll know what I’m doing: I’m helping to save Mother Earth.”

“If I were to hold up a bank with my index finger and my thumb as the “gun,” then I hope I wouldn’t try to use half my weapon to hitchhike my escape from the police.”

“I broke down when we broke up, but I didn’t break in to her house just to break out of my routine.”