“I like farm salmon. I like the idea of fish growing on trees.”

“I want to grow a tan and an accent, then dig it out of my garden and staple it to my naked body. I like Salmon Rushdie like a bear would. Especially with a honey glaze.”

“I love the way the color lavender smells, and the way the color salmon tastes. And if there were a color called “fur,” I’d like the way it feels.”

“I waste more time trying to save time than I would if I were merely inefficient. One woman told me I make love like a fish in the desert, and I believed her, because she looked like a dry fish fucker to me.”

“I am a tree, though I’m not a shady character. I’m like a tree in winter.”

“I like to pet trees—especially if they have furry leaves.”

“I think trees should bloom earlier in the spring. They act like they are on a schedule. It’s not like they have anywhere to go.”